Perfectly Indecisive

Reflections of a Gemini

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How can I put smile on your soul…

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This will most likely be of no interests to you but I need to get it out… If there’s a God out there; please listen to me… this is all I’m asking for!

I have been feeling so frustrated today and as usual for no valid reason. First off, I woke up way too early. I woke up around 6:50 a.m. which is completely wrong. I can’t wake up this early and be functional. My body just wanted to go back to sleep but it didn’t work. On average; getting up at 7:30 a.m. is a struggle. High five to the ones getting up at 5 am to go to work. Anyhow, so I just got up and thought to myself that if I got up early and got ready quick, leave for work early then I could leave the office early and chill out before heading out to my band’s rehearsal later on tonight. Well, amusingly enough, somehow, the more time I seem to have to get ready, the longer it takes me to walk out of my house. I managed to leave the garage at about 8:20 a.m. I thought I’d be fine driving a certain route but I wasn’t. Usually, to get to the main intersection to get to Leslie and drive up to work, takes me about 5 minutes. This morning, it took me 15. Then traffic was heavy so I thought I’d use a short cut… short cut my arse. Instead of 30-35 minutes to get to the office, it took me over 3000 seconds. I was much aggravated by the time I got to my office.

In addition to all of this, everything was bad news over bad news. Damn radio and news papers. Unfortunately, we can’t just blind fold ourselves and ignore what’s going on in the world. Mind you, when I do that for a while, I usually end up less disturbed and sad. At the moment, it’s all about the election this and election that, and rampage, shootings, and injured child (which horrifies me; I can’t understand how one could hurt a child). Anyway, I’m trying to tell myself to think positive. Still, it continues to haunt me. I decide to phone a good friend of mine to chat a bit and get that crap off my mind. Well, there he is telling me I’m the one putting myself in this state of mind and I’m the one choosing to drive to work and this and that… All I can think of is that, yes, I do understand that I’m the one making those decisions, however, I’m calling you to talk my frustrations out and get it over with. I know dwelling on negative is bad but not acknowledging it and repressing it isn’t any better.

Anyhow, I have this great friend at work and she brightens up my days. Just too bad she isn’t a man…lol – She has this wicked sense of humour, she is brilliant, beautiful inside and outside and just to make her laugh makes me laugh. I pray there is a man out there kind of like her… someone simple, smart, special, very funny and obviously attractive (at least to my eyes).
The good thing about today is that she and I had a good laugh this morning and the thought of rehearsing with my band tonight puts a smile on my soul.

That’s it for now!

Adults and Nightmares

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Last night was a weird one. I had a nightmare. It’s so awkward. 2 years ago when I was still with now my ex; I started having nightmares. I guess it was because of the tension in the relationship. When he left it stopped. Mind you I’ve had a few in the last little while but nothing too bad, snakes, war … the usual I’d say.

Last night was so strange. My first dream was interesting. I was flying over a lake in between 2 cities. I was not a super hero or anything along the lines of that but I had the ability to fly. Then, you know how dreams can be weird, I was in a grocery store and ended up landing on this huge piece of ham. I hate ham!! Ha ha ha

My second dream is the nightmare; I was in a pool which somehow was inside kind of an industrial factory. Then I felt shadows around me. After a few moments I realized they were friends of mine arriving. I couldn’t see them but I could feel them. I kept swimming but left shortly after. The water was clear so I have no worries about that part. Then I walked down the metal staircase and somehow ended up in a hallway of a house. I was just about to go up the stairs when I felt someone behind me. I slightly turned around to see who it was but I couldn’t tell. The person was built and robust so my take would be a man. The yellowish light was shining from behind the man and his face was all shadowy. It was very somber. I offered him to go up first and he waved at me kind of saying “no you go first” but without saying a word. Then I started walking up the stairs when I felt him grabbing aggressively onto my legs to pull me down.

I woke up screaming and freaked out my cats!! Ha ha ha It’s so weird isn’t it. I’m 33 years old and still having nightmares. I must have quite the troubled soul…lol

Do adults still have nightmares or is it just me?

Written by Pasqual Little

16 July, 2008 at 2:48 am